


Friday Nights

by latethoughts



Category: Friday Night Dinner - Fandom, Tom Rosenthal - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance, family friends, fan fiction, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 15:38:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18097208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latethoughts/pseuds/latethoughts
Summary: Every Friday night The Goodman's meet up and have a nice pleasant family dinner. Although sometimes shenanigans do tend to happen. Dads never wearing a shirt because it's bloody boiling apparently; Adam and Jonny constantly play around and Mum deals with it all plus Jim the neighbour ducking by every week.In this story, Aunty Val visits a lot more often with her daughter Vivian. Also known as Viv to the boys, the kids are practically joined at the hip because they've known each other ever since they were born.





	1. Plates

Every week. Every bloody week.  
My parents end up fighting and then making up 3 hours later. But every week or so Mum and I have to eat dinner at Aunty Jackie's. She's not my real Aunty, she's just Mum's best friend so we've always been close to the Goodman's.

Yet again, another Friday night is spent there. Mum was crying in the living room with Aunty Jack. I was in the shed with Uncle Martin. He was meant to be throwing out magazines he was keeping from Aunty Jack but she found them and so he's searching a new place to hide them. So far his best idea was to cover all the boxes they were in with a blanket.

"There you go," he stepped back.

"Excellent" I commented, "when are the bambinos getting here?" I asked him, referring to the boys.

"Ah who knows," he replied, at that moment the boys had arrived. Jonny and Adam walked through the door looking uncomfortable.

"Pusface, Pissface" I greeted Adam and Jonny respectively. They nodded.

"Alright Pest" Jonny addresses me by my cute nickname, "what's the topic of tonight's fight?"

"Plates" 

"Plates?" Adam asked. I nodded and repeated myself.

"Plates. I wouldn't read into it, I don't even know if they're fighting about the china or tectonic" I leaned against what I thought was the wall but was actually boxes stacked up very high. They all fell down.

"Oh shitting hell!" Martin let loose. The boys and I tried not laughing. We were all kicked out of the shed so he could rearrange his wall again.

"Any females Adam?" I teased as we entered the back door. He rolled his eyes and Jonny laughed.

"Oh god, not you too. Every time we have this conversation it's the same answer; no"  Adam was being emotional again. We all walked to the kitchen and began snacking. Jonny got the whipped cream out and began spraying that in his mouth, I opted for cheese and crackers.

"You're getting pretty old now Adam, you need to find your Eve soon otherwise you'll end up like-well, my Dad," I told Adam, his face screwed up.

"I'm 25, I'm only 2 years older than you two" 

"Biological clocks running out" I joked. At that moment Aunty Jackie walked in.

"Boys, go and talk to your Aunty. Sweetie, would help me with the salad?" She asked me. I obliged. The boys groaned and got a death glare from Aunty Jack.

"Pest and Aunty Val are staying for dinner? She always gets the good stuff and we're left with the rest" Jonny complained.

"Well, she's the closest I've got to a daughter" Aunty Jack quickly gave me a peck on the cheek.  
"So...any boys in your life, love?" Oh, here we go.

"Yeah I suppose, I'm seeing this guy Bradley tomorrow night. Having dinner together"

"Oh, how exciting. Is he handsome?" She asked, she always loved a bit of gossip.

"Very. He's got lovely blue eyes, nice blonde hair too and his jawline is to die for" we giggled.

"Oh that's great I hope I meet him soon, better than looking at these lot every Friday" we both laughed again. Then heard a cry from Mum. We dropped what we were doing and rushed to the living room, Mum was sobbing on the couch while the boys stood together awkwardly near the entrance. Aunty Jack went and hugged mum, I patted her back. When I turned my head the boys were gone. Knobheads.  
Dinner was delayed because of mum. I sat next to Adam and she sat next to Uncle Martin. She was still tearful.

"Lovely roast Aunty Jack" I complimented the cooking.

"Aw thank you, sweetie"

"Yes, lovely bit of roast squirrel" Uncle Martin laughed at his own joke.

Mum gasped. I realised she was looking at her phone.  
"Larry just texted me a picture of plane tickets!" She squealed.

"What?" Aunty Jack asked for clarification. But she got none, mum was already on the phone, on the way out of the room.

"Madrid? Oh my god, Larry, I love you! I'll be right out" Mum hung up and squealed. She then jumped up and down with Aunty Jack. Jonny, Adam and I were looking from the doorframe, "are you alright to take Viv home, Adam?" Mum asked; he nodded. Mum gave me a kiss and said she'll be back soon.

"I know" I replied, once she shut the door I spoke "have a good 3 hours" we went back to finish dinner.

"Spain, that's exciting, isn't it? Excited for your Mum?" Aunty Jack asked me. I was caught off-guard, so I hesitated with my answer.

"...yeah" I really didn't think this happy moment would last long. Mum and Larry always fight no matter how content they seem to be.

"If your date goes well tomorrow would you like to bring Bradley to dinner one night?" Aunty Jack brought up a boy. I stopped eating and dropped my cutlery. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I saw Jonny's and Adam's heads slowly turn to me.

"Bradley? Who's Bradley?" Adam was grinning, he playfully elbowed me.

"Uhh. Bradley. Yes. He's a male...of mine" I replied.

"Just a male?" Jonny leaned on his elbow and winked.

"You've got yourself a male? Congrats Vivian. Adam what about you? Where's your female?" Uncle Martin asked. I smiled, satisfied at having the conversation shift. There was a knock at the door, even better. Both the boys went to answer.

"I think because we're still in the early stages I'm going to hold off on introducing him to family and friends" I spoke quickly to Aunty Jack before the boys came back.

"I understand" she replied.

"You understand what?" Jonny entered along with Adam and their neighbour Jim.

"Hello everybody-hello," he spotted me. I smiled politely.

"Everything alright Jim?" Aunty Jack asked politely.

"Says it's an emergency" Adam spoke and sat down.

"Yes, I just needed to borrow some scissors if that's alright" Jim spoke really slowly.

"Scissors?" Aunty Jack spoke.

"What emergency requires your neighbour's scissors?" Jonny asked.

"Well, it's not really an emergency but rather a surprise. I'm making a scrapbook of Wilson and me to give to all of our friends" Jim explained.

"Just one" Adam muttered, I continued to smile politely but the boys snickered. I kicked Adam under the table, "Ow!" The whole table looked at him. 

"Something wrong Adam?" Aunty Jack asked, concerned. Adam took a deep breath.

"Fine" he breathed out. They continued talking.

"That sounds really nice of you Jim. Adam, go fetch the scissors from the study" Aunty Jack told him. Adam stood up slowly and limped a bit.

"Drama queen" I muttered, Jonny chuckled. While Adam was gone, Jonny poured salt into his water. I added a mountain of pepper under his meat. Aunty Jack and Uncle Martin were too busy talking to Jim to notice us.

Adam came back and handed Jim the scissors, "Ah thank you"  Jim just stood there. Almost every time I come over Jim shows up, I know he fancies Aunty Jack but I'm pretty sure he's stalking the fam. There was a phone call by the time dinner finished. It was Mum, she was still having a good time and the flight was in 2 hours so she's just on her way to the airport.

I was in the living room with the boys. Even though I was on my phone I could tell they were staring at me.

"What?" I asked, looking at them. They had a cheeky glint in their eyes.  
Soon enough they rushed over and squished me in the couch between them.

"Tell us about Bradley" Jonny demanded. They both had their heads leaning on their hands.

"Oh," I tutted, "oh boys. Don't be jealous I'll still be around" I stretched my arms across the back of the couch.  
Both turned to face me.

"No, seriously. What's his last name?" Jonny asked.

"Are you friends with him on facebook?" Adam had his phone out ready to search it up.

"Is he better looking than me?" Jonny continued the interrogation.

"How about I text you. I gotta go now anyway, I'm going out" my friend was here to pick me up. I got up and started walking out.

"How about no, besides I thought I was taking you home," Adam said, they both followed me.

"You guys can come out if your mum lets you" I teased, "I'm off now Aunty Jack!" I yelled out.

"We're not Mummy's boys. I'm actually independent" Jonny said.

"Um yeah, I am too" Adam crossed his arms.

"Sure. Give your mum a kiss for me, see you next time" I said goodbye and walked out.

 


	2. Pusface's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam brings his new girlfriend to his birthday dinner and Jonny and Viv pretend to date.

I knocked on the door, the family answered and we're about to say Happy Birthday but then stopped themselves.

"You're late" Jonny pulled me in with such force, "he's gonna be very soon with his new girlfriend"

"Alright, you can let go now" I pushed him off.

"Help me put this banner up would you Viv?" Aunty Jack asked. It was a birthday banner that said Happy Birthday Pusface, I remember they used this like two years ago.

*knock knock knock*

"That's Adam, everybody!" Aunty Jackie called everyone to the front door. It was Jonny, Uncle Martin, Aunty Jackie, their grandma Nelly and I all crowded around the walkway.  
Jonny and I were at the front about to pounce on Adam, an annual tradition. One if the two would jump on one of the birthday persons back and the other would give that person a kiss. Jonny opened the door.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUSFACE" we all shouted. This year, Jonny and I went for a kiss, Jonny snapped a picture.

"Brilliant, thank you" Adam sounded nervous. I noticed his girlfriend standing at the door awkwardly.

"Hi, I'm Adams mum Jackie" Aunty Jack put her hand out to hold. The girl shook it.

"Hi, I'm Donna" she seemed nice.

"This is my Dad, Martin; my Grandma Nelly, my brother Jonny and...his girlfriend, Vivian" Adam introduced us. Jonny and I looked at each other. What?

"Nice to meet you all" she smiled.  
Jonny and I gave Adam the 'we need to talk to you look', "where's the toilet?" Donna asked Adam, Adam directed her. Jonny and I pulled him into the kitchen, Aunty Jack and Uncle Martin followed.

"What have you done? Why are you doing this?" I pleaded.

"Look, I'm sorry. Okay? She just gets a bit jealous. And I haven't exactly had the best of luck introducing girls to my family because this one," he flicked Jonny's nose, "always manages to piss them off"

"Oh my god, when have I ever done that?" Jonny complained.

"Um, you made out with Tanya Green, you put up pictures of naked ladies in my bedroom and scared off Emma. She's here to keep you under control" Adam pointed at me. Jonny shrugged.

"Alright, good point" he replied. It was silent for a moment.

"I'm going to go check your bedroom," I said to Adam, just in case Jonny did something, I started walking and felt an arm go over me.

"WE are going to check out your bedroom because WE are a happy couple," Jonny chirped then whispered in my ear, " I have set up a little prank that he probably won't want her to see"

*

After emptying Adams room of all the porn magazines we went down to the living room where he was opening his presents.  
"An ironing board. Thanks, guys these presents are once again...y'know practical" Adam got up and kissed his parents.

"Here, take mine-and Jonny's present. From both of us. Together" I offered my present. I didn't change the card, it only says it's from me. I waited for his reaction. I made him a scrapbook of the three of us growing up.

"Viv. Oh my god, aw here's when you guys were babies" he looked surprised. He got up and hugged me, I grinned with happiness. Jonny joined our hug.

"So glad you like it. This one kept trying to jump on me I hardly had any time to glue" Jonny commented then wrapped an arm around me. I wrapped mine him, my right arm was hidden, pulling up his undies giving him a wedgie. He pretended that everything was okay but excused himself.

"Aw Viv. This turned out beautiful" Aunty Jack complimented. I thanked her.

*

Dinner wasn't as awkward as I thought it was going to be, except when Donna started talking lots.

"And he's actually married to my Aunt Eliza now, so I guess my family is related in more than one way!" She finished the story. Jonny and I looked disgusted and I think she knew that.  
"So how long have you two been going out?" She asked me.

"You two are a couple? Since when?" Uncle Martin blew our cover.

"Martin!" Aunty Jack scolded and hit him gently.

"It'll be 3 years in 2 weeks" I lied and looked to Jonny. He smiled then grabbed and kiss my hand.

"You two must have a good relationship to act just like best friends" I guess we're not as lovey-dovey as I thought.

"Oh don't worry. In private we act like animals" Jonny started pretending to bite at my neck and ear. I pushed him away.

"Jonny!" Aunty Jack scolded.

"Tell you what Bambina, I always thought you and pisshead over there were meant to be" uncle Martin confessed to me. I tilted my head.

"Really?" Jonny and I asked in unison. My eyes wandered over to Adam who was holding in his laugh while pouring salt into Jonny's glass.

"I'd like to give a toast" I stood up and grabbed Adams water.

"That's actually my glass Viv" Adam interrupted.

"Oh, sorry. Let me fill it up for you" I grabbed Jonny's water and poured his water into Adams glass. Adam knew straight away that I saw him, "drink up. To Donna and Adam. If they were a movie star couple, they'd be Daddam" I sipped my wine.

"Here here" Jonny and I clinked glasses and waited for Adam to drink his water.

"You all right bub?" Donna asked Adam.

"Yeah, you, all right? You know it's very rude to not drink after a toast. You wouldn't want to be rude to my girlfriend would you?" Jonny encouraged Adam to take a sip of his salt water. He couldn't drink his wine because he was driving tonight.

"Yeah Adam, don't be rude" I tried to look hurt, Jonny gave me a hug and rubbed my back.

"It's okay, it's okay. It's not your fault" Jonny looked me in the eyes and grabbed my face. We tried so hard not to crack up, I actually did let a few tears out laughing too hard in his shoulder.

"Alright, alright. I'll have a drink" Adam gave in. Jonny and I immediately let go of each other and watched him. Adam brought up the glass really slowly and swallowed a bit. He twitched and licked his lips.

"Thank you, Adam, you've made me very happy" I literally wiped my face to get rid of my smile.

"I'd like to give a toast as well, or should I give it in 2 weeks? Happy Anniversary Pissface and Pest. Give us a kiss" Adam got up. The smile dropped from both of our faces. Jonny and I looked and each other and grimaced.

"Um, we wouldn't want to gross you guys out" I excused.

"With our intense passionate love" Jonny apparently finished my sentence.

"Yes thank you Jonny" I muttered.

"Oh go on, if you're so madly in love. Look, your mother and I will do it" Uncle Martin and Aunty Jack kissed.

"Martin, Adam, don't pressure them!" Thank you, Aunty Jack, "I'm going to go get my camera!" She squealed.

"Honestly what's so uncomfortable about a little kiss?" That was quite rude Donna.

"We already have an intense relationship. Honestly, everything is just..." Jonny trailed off and used some rude hand gestures.

"I am so glad your mother is not in the room," I told him.

"Just kiss, it's no big deal" yes, thank you, Donna.

"Of course it's not a big deal, come on love" Jonny and I shared a nice sweet kiss. Something that made me feel all gooey and gross inside, but in a good way. Once we heard that camera click, we parted, "Mum!" Jonny complained. I took a deep breath. Oh no, don't tell me I like my best friend.

"Aw, but you two are so cute! Ah, I'm calling Val" Aunty Jack ran out of the room.

"Good thing the crumble is soon, maybe then things will be focused back on the birthday boy," I spoke loudly then whispered to Adam, "you did this yourself"

"I don't really regret anything" Adam went to drink his water, forgetting the salt was still in it. This made him cough everything up, "except that. I-I regret doing that" that one moment of normalcy made Jonny and I laugh. Then we looked away. I hate you, Adam.

*

"See you in a fortnight Donna, nice to meet you," Aunty Jack said goodbye. We all waved as she exited.

As soon as Adam entered the living room I shoved him onto the couch, he fell onto Jonny.  
"Oi, what was that for?" He complained, getting comfy on the sofa.

"What to do you think? For the entire night, I had to make googly eyes with this giant needle because your insecure girlfriend thought we," referring to Adam and me, "were too chummy"

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna break up with her anyway. She talks about football way too much and for my birthday she got me a toothbrush. Not even an electric one, just a tongue scrubber" aw, that makes me feel sad. I sat in between my boys.

"You'll find a girl who will not be a crazy bitch that doesn't even care about you one day my small friend" I hugged him.

"Thanks," he said.

"You're still an arsehole" I commented during the hug.

"I know. You should probably burn your lips off after kissing him" Adam teased.

 


	3. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing on with the charade has lead Viv and Jonny into each other's arms.

Once again I knocked on the Goodman's door.

...

Gee, they're taking a while, Mum knocked this time.  
"Where are they?" She asked.

"Is their car here?" I asked. Mum checked.

"Yeah, they knew we were coming. Jackie! Martin!" She shouted.

"I'll check the side door" I went around to the kitchen and found it unlocked. I entered the kitchen and witnessed a half-naked Martin listening to the radio full blast while replacing the bin. He and Aunty Jack were singing. I tapped on his shoulder and he flinched so hard he hit my arm.

"Bloody hell! You scared the shitting crap out of me Viv" Martin yelled. I stopped myself from laughing at his jiggly belly.

"Martin! Don't talk like that to Vivian. Sorry love, where's mum?" She gave me a kiss.

"At the front" I went to open the door. Aunty Jack rushed to the door and apologised to Mum. Looks like the boys are arriving. Last time I saw them I had to kiss Jonny, which actually brought flashbacks to when we were 11, Adam dared us to kiss so we did, otherwise, I would have gotten punched in the arm.

"Go on, give her a kiss" Mum teased Jonny and me. She had her camera out, why don't these guys use phones?  
I stepped back as he came near, forgetting that tonight was supposed to be our anniversary dinner. The things I do for these boys. I gave Jonny a kiss for the crowd and everyone awed. I can't believe Adam is still with this girl, she's already added me on facebook and 'persisting' that I change my relationship status, luckily I have some self-control and ignore those who are annoying.

"The house looks wonderful mum, look, sweetie, flowers everywhere" Jonny pointed around the room and there was indeed an assortment of tulips, roses, daisies and petunias all over the place, Jonny opened the bathroom and there were some more.

"Banners too," I commented on the big white sheet which said 'Happy Anniversary Jonny + Viv', "I'm assuming Martin produced this masterpiece" I observed the still wet blue paint.

"Or a three-year-old" Jonny commented in my ear. I smiled instead of laughing.

"Your father worked very hard on that Jonny" Aunty Jack smacked him on the shoulder, "now kids, into the living room I haven't finished the roast yet. Val, join me in the kitchen" she spoke like she had gossip.

"Where's your dad?" Donna asked me...I'm assuming. She just kind of spoke aloud.

"Um," I started.

"Viv's dad passed away a while ago" Adam spoke softly. I nodded.

"Oh, so your mum remarried" Donna is quite observant. I don't exactly have Larry's balding red hair or turkey neck passed onto me.

"Yeah, Larry is the current husband" I replied, it was silent for a little bit. I tapped my finger on the couch a few times, "who wants a drink?" I asked as I stood up.

"Oh, I'll have one, champagne?" Donna's request shocked all of us, "aren't we having it anyway to celebrate?"

I walked out, Jonny followed.  
"Alright, Mr Morris" Jonny commented. I rolled my eyes.

"What is her problem? Why is she so..." I trailed, I couldn't find the words.

"I know right" Jonny and I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed the glasses while he raided the pantry, grabbing some whipped cream.

"Jonny stop eating all the cream!" Aunty Jack told him off, we both laughed.

"Do you think she'll notice the difference between Pasito and champagne?" I asked the general area.

"She wants champagne?" Aunty Jackie asked, "Mr Morris all over again" she rolled her eyes and got some out the fridge.

Before I returned to the living room I heard sounds, kissing sounds. I knocked before entering just invade they wouldn't notice.

"Here you go" I set all the glasses down on the ottoman.

"Ooh, very nice. You know I can actually take the cork off with a knife" Donna told us.

"Aw, really? That's so cool" I spoke sweetly.

"Yeah, do you want to-" she started but stopped when I popped the lid off.

"Excellent" Jonny commented.

"I'll be right back," I said after I poured everyone a glass. I went to the upstairs bathroom because the sign in the ground floor bath said 'bog buggered'. While walking to the toilet, I noticed Adams door was open. Perhaps I should attempt to rebuild what I destroyed last week. Jonny and I hid the box of porn under Pusface's bed.

"Pissface!" I yelled out.

"Yeah!"

"Can you come up here for a second please?" I asked nicely. Soon he was up.

"Pest. Don't bend over in a dress" he smacked my bum, I swatted him away. I was still pulling the box out.

"Rude, now help me put all this shit up so they break up and this awkwardness can die" I sat down next to him.

"Oh come on. We're having a little fun being a couple aren't we?" Jonny scooched closer and wrapped an arm around me. I looked at it with a frown.

"You're being weird. Don't make this weird Pissface" I grabbed one of the photos, her name was apparently Vivian as well.

"Oh look, it's you in 5 years" Jonny pointed at the picture. I mocked his laugh and gave him a pen, "you're a master at signatures, write Adam's name on the back. I'll get started on the wall"

"I love you," Jonny said, realising what I was doing.

"You should after 3 years" I joked. I went to the bathroom to get a lotion to put next to his bed.

"What are you guys doing up there?!" Adam asked. I could hear his footsteps up the stairs. I grabbed Jonny and dragged him into the hall. I closed Adam's bedroom door and took Jonny by the hand downstairs. Adam met us at the corner.

"Oh hey" I greeted. Adam looked down to our hands and frowned.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"Had sex on my childhood bed. Like all couples should do!" Jonny is the worst liar.

"Yeah right. Why are you really flustered?" He seemed really suspicious.

"Dinner!" Aunty Jack called out. Thank you, Lord.

"Dinners ready Pusface " I slid between him and the wall.

*  
I kept making eye contact with Donna from across the table, she was eyeing my food as well. Oh my gosh, her eyes are so blue and creepy.

"This is really lovely squirrel Jackie" Uncle Martin made his weekly joke.

"Yes, really lovely Jackie," Mum said.

"Squirrel?" Donna whispered. I choked on my water a little bit.

"Jonny, you didn't salt the water did you?" Aunty Jack asked. Jonny was about to answer but I interjected.

"No, no. That was all me" I breathed deeply. Jonny put a hand on my back and rubbed.

"Practising for later?" Jonny whispered. I held in my disgust, turn my head and smiled at him. I then place my hand on his thigh and slid it up towards his inner thigh, his eyes widened.

"You alright Jonny?" Aunty Jack asked.

"Yep," his voice squeaked. I knew I was making him uncomfortable. My hand stopped moving just below his gonads. I let go and he let a breath out, that's when I flicked him. He shrieked, scaring everyone at the table.

"Bloody hell" Martin jumped.

"Jonny! Are you alright?" Aunty Jack asked.

"What happened?" Adam asked.

"Yeah, what happened?" I asked. He breathed deeply for a few seconds.

"I-excuse me" he ran out of the room and went upstairs muttering 'ow ow ow'.

"Adam, go check on your brother" Aunty Jack told Pusface.

"No, it's okay. As his girlfriend of..3 years, I'll go" I went to Jonny's room and saw him cowering on the floor on the verge of tears with his trousers down. I crouched down, "It gets worse for a second doesn't it"

"You have no idea. Why did you do that?" He was in pain but getting better.

"Pissface you can't talk like that in front of your parents, or mine. Real or fake girlfriend, I'm not having it" I brushed his hair out of his face.

"Sorry. It was pretty naughty" he apologised. Jonny sat up and got on his bed, I joined him.

"It's just fun you know, nothing serious about us. In fact, there's a girl I have my eye on-"

"Stalking is illegal" I cut him off. He pushed me playfully.

"Her name's Vickie-Victoria" he corrected himself.

"Vickie Victoria, I think she collaborated with Hannah Montana" I made another comment.

"Wow you should be a comedian" he spoke sarcastically, "she's properly nice though, gorgeous-nothing like you" I laughed.

"That's fantastic to hear. I'm really happy for you, but if she turns out to be anything like Pusface's girlfriend. I'm going to break you up, I'm not kissing Adam" I promised him. Jonny thought about my threat then nodded.

"I'd be okay with that. Also, I get to brag about shagging you for the rest of my life. Make Adam mad whenever I need to"

"We've never.." I trailed and make the fornication hand symbols.

"We're going to though right? I mean, what if Pusface marries this girl?" We started heading downstairs.

"He is not going to do that. I hate saying this but I'm going to make sure they don't last. Should we start now?" I asked. Implying that we should get Donna up to see Adams porn covered room.

"Start what?" Mum asked, whoops. Perhaps they overheard our conversation.

"Wedding preparations! She said yes!" Jonny lied. You. Are. A. Shit. Mum and Aunty Jack started squealing with happiness.

"What?" Adam looked dumbfounded.

"I'm so happy! You're finally together! At first, I thought this whole thing was just for Donna but you guys wouldn't joke about marriage!" Aunty Jack hugged me tightly, I gave Jonny a death glare and mouthed 'I hate you'. He grimaced and mouthed back 'love you too'

*

After Donna left, Jonny and I went to his room for privacy. I punched him on his arm, "What is wrong with you? You're just trying to shit up my life even more!"

"Ow! Okay, I may have gotten a bit too carried away with the lie"

"I'm going to have to fake my death you realise that?" I responded, I know I was over dramatic.

"We could just say you got cold feet. Or you could do what Grandma did and fake a heart attack during the ceremony"

"We're not going through with all the crap needed to throw a wedding. I've finally met a guy I like and like always you guys shit it up!"

"Alright, calm down" hell was about to break loose. I grabbed Pissface by his shirt and pulled him down.

"I can't! I haven't had sex in 4 months and you're the first guy I've kissed in that time so it's really hard for me not to pounce on anyone at the moment"

He stared silent, I loosened my grip. Jonny grabbed me and kissed me, hard. He let go and tested my reaction, we kissed again then I pushed him away. Then I pulled him back, "this is just going to happen once and you can't tell anyone, not even Adam. If you do decide to tell anyone I will never talk to you again, that means no more lifts, no more late night bitch sessions, and no more pranks on Adam" he nodded looking excited, "I'll drive to yours straight after dropping Mum off"

I feel bad for Bradley right now but we're really not serious at all, he was nice at dinner but he hasn't called me or messaged me in 2 weeks.  
I pulled up to Jonny's flat, he lived alone and I had a key. I rushed inside and saw candles everywhere.

"Pissface?" I said. I stepped slowly so as not to burn myself, I never knew he had this many candles. They created a path to the bedroom, Jonny was standing there putting rose petals on the bed. He noticed me and stopped.

"Oh, hey" he wiped his hands on his trousers. He grabbed a bottle of wine and a bottle vodka which were on his side table, "I know you don't like red wine, so I thought I'd get white-but I also know you generally don't like wine at all so I got this" he lifted he vodka. I fought the smile forming on my face. The alcohol would definitely take the edge off.

I sighed and sat on his bed, "Perhaps we shouldn't" I looked down and cracked my knuckles, something I do when I'm nervous. Jonny sat down next to me.

"It's okay. We're friends, we've known each other for ages" Jonny hugged me.

"But I'm so horny ever since I broke up with Evan and I don't want to just have sex with a random"

"Exactly, exactly. I'm someone you can trust, we already have that emotional connection" I think Jonny is just agreeing with me. I grabbed the white wine and had four gulps.

"Why did you agree to this? I thought you liked a girl" I asked. What was her name?

"Oh. Right. Well to be honest...I made her up" he admitted.

"You're so good at doing that" I teased. Referring to Allison, the famous 'girlfriend' that no one ever saw.

"Viv. I have to tell you something and it's going to ruin our entire relationship, certainly test it at least" oh god, "I really really fancy yo-"

I cut him off with a kiss. Not just a peck, but one of those kisses that make you want to grab onto the other person and throw them on a bed, "Excellent" Jonny commented when we separated for a second. As soon as I knew it I was shagging my best friend.

 


	4. Silent Treatment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of drama tonight with Martin and Jackie.  
> Also Adam just couldn't keep his mouth shut.

I knocked on the Goodman's door, Mum was here to talk to Aunty Jackie about whatever was going in between her and Larry. It was 8.00 so dinner was finished, maybe I can score some crumble?  
Aunty Jack opened the door, gave me a hug and then hugged Mum and took her upstairs to chat.  
Jonny and Adam were in the kitchen. Adam had just put the crumble in the oven.

"Yes!" I cheered, just in time, "alright bambinos" I jumped up and sat on the counter. I didn't make eye contact with Jonny, it's weird now. It's been 2 weeks since we slept together and now it's just...weird.

"Hey, Viv. Do you mind not putting your arse on the clean countertop?" Adam was in a mood.

"Pissface," I started.

"Yes Pest" Jonny replied in his normal self.

"Has your brother turned into your mother? Because from what I see with the pink apron and the territorial related aggression, it seems as if he's cooked and cleaned"

"Although the infamous, smelly creature known as Adam," Johnny began talking in a David Attenborough voice, Adam was rolling his eyes and got back to cleaning the dishes," is usually recluse in his effort to find a female companion, it seems as if he's taken on the role himself. Not that that would be a surprise he's been shagging himself for years" Jonny and I fist bumped. This is nice, this is normal.

"Better me cooking than Dad" Adam chimed, I agreed.

"Yeah, where is he?" I opened the side door trying to look for him but saw a dog pooping in the alley, "uhh, hi Jim"

"What!?" I heard Jonny and Adam say. They rushed over.

"Hello all" Jim greeted. Jonny pushed me aside, well not really I was stuck between him and Adam. I don't know if he did it intentionally but one hand was around my waist because I lost balance for a moment and he didn't take his arm away until I took it off.

"Jim, what are you doing out there?" Jonny asked.

"Oh, this is just one of Wilson's favourite spots to um...go" Jim replied, his dogs taking a shit.

"Brilliant" I commented and went back in.

"Just make sure you pick it up Jim," Adam said politely, then shut the door, "Dad should be in the garage. He's acting suspiciously again, like that time with the fox"

"Ugh, the fox," I said with disgust, one time Uncle Martin kept a dead fox in the freezer so just so he could stuff it. I don't know how he kept it from Aunty Jack.

"The fox," Jonny copied me and shivered. "So what are they fighting about tonight?"

I took a breath to start speaking but stopped myself, "Um. Well, I'm not sure actually. They've been really quiet, I think Mums giving Larry the silent treatment over something stupid like a shoe or whatever" Uncle Martin entered the kitchen smelling of garbage.

"Ugh. Dad" Adam complained.

"What?" Uncle Martin replied. The man looked as dirty as a wild wolf.

"You smell and look like a rabid animal" Jonny explained.

"What?" Martin's hearing must be playing up.

"Why are you covered in muck?!" Adam yelled.

"Alright son, you don't have to yell. I was in the bins"

"You were IN the bins" I repeated.

"Yes, I was in the bins," he said nonchalantly. He went to the sink and drank straight from the tap. I looked to Adam and Jonny hoping to gain further information somehow, we all shrugged. "Aah" Martin sighed, satisfied with his quenched thirst.

"Dad," Adam started. Martin looked to him while wiping his face with a tea towel, "why were you in a bin?"

"Well because I bloody dropped something didn't I?" Martin replied then turned to me and Jonny, "thicko" we nodded.

"What did you drop that was so important that you had a bin dive?" Jonny asked. Martin hesitated and looked around, then he ran to the door and closed it.

"Don't tell your mother," he brought out a brush from his back pocket, "it's her hairbrush" he admitted with a panicked look. All three of us were so confused had so many questions.

"Why would you have her brush outside? By the bin?" Jonny asked.

"I was sick of her hair being everywhere so I took it out and started ripping it out, to clean it" he explained.

"Yes but why outside?" I asked. Why not use the inside bin?

"She doesn't like me messing with her stuff" Martin was now at the sink washing the brush, "stop asking me all these bleeding questions" he rushed out of the kitchen.

"But what made you dive? Did it not fall within the bag? Did it roll? Why couldn't you just tip the bin over a little? Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I continued to ask.

"Look, I know your Mum and your Aunty Jackie are in the bedroom talking about feelings and stuff. I need you to take this, sneak in to the ensuite and place it on Jackie's side of the sink" he handed me the wet hairbrush. I held it by the end and looked to Jonny and saw him laughing silently. I forced the brush into his mouth like a toothbrush, he spat and pushed me away.

"Wouldn't it make more sense for you to say 'both bathrooms are being used, I have to take a shower because I'm covered in shit and all of my clothes are here" I tried getting out of it but soon found myself caught in conversation with Mum and Aunty Jack bitching about Larry. They were having Gin, which means they were both upset.

"I mean he never treats me right does he, Viv?" Mum brought me in.

"What? No. Yes. I don't know, I have to pee" finally. That was like 10 minutes of Larry, the most boring guy ever.  
I returned the hairbrush on Jackie's side of the sink then flushed the toilet and ran the tap.  
I gave Mum a hug while she cried some more.

"I want you to find a man you never fight with okay?" She told me.

"Okay," I complied, "I'm gonna check on the crumble"

On my way downstairs, I noticed Pusface's room was clean. I'm hoping that female of his finally saw all the vile images and walked out as Emma did, although I actually liked her.

"Pusface" I started, "are you still with that female of yours?" I checked for crumble, looks about done.

"Donna? No, I broke up with her like 3 weeks ago" he responded.

"Aw on our anniversary babe" Jonny was talking to me. I smiled with my mouth closed for a sec to acknowledge him.

"Devastating" I held my hand to my heart.

"Yes and then I went upstairs because I suspected that you did something in my room" Adam started.

"Shag on your bed" Jonny winked at me.

"Yes lovely picture. What was even lovelier was all the naked photos up on my walls" Adam gave Jonny and me a glare.

"Yes. At the end of the night I may have slipped a little picture into her purse" I spoke slowly. Adam slammed the crumble on the counter. Jonny and I gasped in shock. How dare he?!

"Is that why she called me at midnight and assumed we were having an affair!?" Adam was angry but he's a hobbit so it was never too threatening. I shrugged.

"To be fair, she was pretty psycho" I spoke.

"Probably because her parents are siblings" Jonny commented, we fist bumped.

"Right. No, crumble for you" Adam pointed his finger at me. My mouth was gaping open.

"What? That's so unfair!"

"Haha!" Jonny teased.

"He was an accomplice!" I pointed to Jonny.

"Ha. Good luck trying to shift the blam-" Jonny began but was cut off by Adam.

"You're not getting any either" Jonny's face dropped.

"Adam that's not funny," Jonny's face was stone cold, "as if you have any say anyway"

Martin walked in again, still smelling like trash. "What's going on?" He asked. Aunty Jack and Mum were also almost in the kitchen.

"Dad! Tell Adam he has no control over whom and who cannot eat the crumble!" Jonny yelled.

"Why all the yelling?" Aunty Jack entered.

"Dad! Tell these two that it's wrong to break up a couple who are doing quite fine!" Adam yelled back.

"You broke up with her on your own, why are you blaming us?" I asked.

"Because you two bloody slept together!" Adam yelled. Everyone fell silent.

"You had sex with my daughter?" Mum walked a few threatening steps closer to Jonny.

I felt my stomach drop. The look of disappointment was clear on my face and the regret was clear on Jonny's. He said he liked me, he just wanted bragging rights, I should have expected this. I'm too embarrassed to even look at anyone right now, let alone speak.

"No-Viv!" I walked out. Jonny came chasing after me. He grabbed me by my arm but I shook him off. We were just outside.

"You promised. You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone and now I'm mortified thanks. I guess when you said you liked me it was the final push yeah? I thought you were different Pis-Jon" I couldn't say his nickname. I was too hurt. I walked off and drove home, I'm sure Adam will drop Mum off for me.

 


End file.
